Last updated on April 26th, 2025 at 07:39 am
Release your inner eagle, and choose to have a wonderful year.
Take these five easy steps to keep you thinking and feeling positive.
1. Is the thought of commencing another year getting you down? Are you overwhelmed by too much expectation from family, friends and peers? Did you waste away the old year doing nothing but holding back your own potential?
Did fear always get in the way of progress?
The unfortunate reality is that fear is an omnipresent force in most of our lives. We suck the power out of our dreams and aspirations simply by being fearful of the future and moving forward into the unknown.
Various obstacles belong in the fear category:
Whatever your chosen personal goals are, ensure that you share them with like-minded people. There is hardly anything more off putting than a negative comment, or being deliberately guided away from something which you believe in.
If you believe with all your heart that you have what it takes to achieve a certain goal or dream; then it is time to begin making it come true. It is all about taking the first step, and thereafter taking one step at a time. The journey becomes easier when you discard any negative feedback, and focus on what you want and plan to achieve.
The new year is here and there is nothing that you can do to make it go into hiding. So, if you are guilty of holding yourself back, and you slowed yourself down to a crawl during the past year – it is time to get onto the starting blocks all set to go! The good news is that the countdown is not ‘on your mark, get set, go!’, but rather it is ‘release the parking brake of life and get into gear’. Initially things might role along much slower than anticipated, but the day will come when you will engage the proverbial fifth gear and sprint towards your waking dreams.
So, lose the fear and believe in yourself. You can do it!
2. Have you recently been blindsided by news that your work contract will not be renewed in the new year? And did this occur after what appeared to be successful negotiations for renewal?
Life has a habit of presenting inexplicable curve balls. The question is: Are you ready? Do you have a game plan?
Having a game plan – or back-up plan – indicates that you have paid attention to what might occur in your life, especially when it pertains to serious issues such as employment, and taking financial care of yourself and your family. The loss of employment is never easy, as high self-esteem and confidence are usually lost along with it. This is the reason why you need to have a back-up plan. Your plan can include anything from improving your level of education and skill, to saving as much as you can, or taking out an insurance policy that will pay out benefits when your employment contract is ended due to reasons not of your own making.
Another really great plan is to turn your leisure pursuit into a business. For example: If you enjoy painting or sculpting, consider selling some of your artwork.
Nearly one year ago, I met ‘Julie’ who is an amazing painter and sculptor. The problem at the time was that she lacked the confidence to see herself as a great talent, with the result that she struggled to make ends meet after she lost her supermarket job. There was no back-plan to cushion the sudden pain of losing the pay check upon which she relied heavily.
During our many conversations, ‘Julie’ revealed that her greatest desire was to be a commercial painter and sculptor. It turned out that she had a personal collection of awe inspiring oil on canvas paintings and ceramic works. She was sitting on a gold mine and had done nothing about it. I recommended that she waste no time in getting her work onto the market and sold. This she did and earned her first 800 dollars almost immediately. Nowadays ‘Julie’ has turned her favorite pastime into a career. She not only sells art; she also teaches it to others.
We all have something that we are passionate about. If you haven’t yet found your passion, I recommend that you find it – find your calling – your life purpose – and put it to good work.
There is no better time than now.
3. Are you commencing the new year without someone to share your life? Are you yearning for change that will see you happy in love or in a wonderful friendship?
Someone once told me that loneliness is the worst suffering if you allow it to become your solitary focus. At the time, I did not understand the meaning of these words, but now I understand what the person meant.
We all need to love and be loved. It is our human birth right. As infants we are born with two emotions: fear and need. We have an inherent fear of being alone and simultaneously, we are helpless to care for ourselves. Therefore, a need for someone else’s attention – whether it be from a birth parent or an adopting parent – is born with us. The bottom line is that we need the presence of another person in our life.
If your new year life goal is to find a spouse or significant other, then you are not alone. Literally hundreds of thousands of people around the world are in a similar situation. The trick question is: How will you find a trustworthy and loving partner or friend? The answer is surprisingly easy: Change your life, or change the things that are blocking your progress.
Additionally, the answers to changing your life are just as simple:
a) Firstly, have a clear picture of what you want (not need) in a partner or friend. Relationships work out better when there are shared common interests.
b) What kind of partner or friend are you seeking? (I have seen many television shows geared towards the forming of ‘blind’ partnerships of love and friendship. The sad reality is that most of these relationships end long before they have actually begun. Why? It is all down to choice. The participants have not really chosen each other, which makes it difficult to be natural around a relationship with extra high expectations – what with the whole country or even the world watching for results. Once a ‘pretend’ factor is introduced into a relationship, it is sure to demise at any given time). So, be honest and don’t be too hard on yourself by placing unreasonable expectations onto your well-meaning shoulders.
c) Join a club. (No joke). Join a club with good uplifting activities such as group exercise workouts, golfing activities, bowling, photography, knitting – anything that brings good people together. Remember: Before becoming a member – It is important and helpful to select activities you honestly enjoy. No use lying your way to love and friendship. How it begins is how it ends.
d) Avoid having only virtual friends. No doubt, social media is great for certain things, but it certainly will not do much for your true friendship goals if you are not physically interacting with your friends. This could lead to feelings of loneliness as the need for physical contact increases without positive results.
e) Take part in volunteer work. What a great way to meet new friends.
f) Instead of staying home to watch paint drying, accept invitations to events. Going alone for the first time is daunting; however, if you are open to meeting new people, you will not have to go it solo for too much longer.
If you are shy or lack confidence, finding love and friendship requires bravery. So, easy does it while you search. Rushing headlong into anything is often not a good thing, and it will only serve to make you more nervous.
4. Have you over-committed yourself to new year resolutions? Are you feeling confused about which goals to keep and which ones to do away with?
The advent of a new year is an emotional time for us all. It is about starting over and finding new ways of improving ourselves. We want to be better at this and more brilliant at that. When the clock strikes midnight on 1st January, we promise ourselves great fortune, fantastic job promotions, extravagant purchases, slimmer waistlines, more exercise and so much more.
But when reality strikes the next day or one week later, trepidation hangs in the air like an ominous cloud. Resolutions need to be fulfilled, but they are many. At this point the task of achieving them seems impossible.
This is probably a great time to reassess your commitments. If during the new year’s eve party, you told Rob that you are going to have a more lucrative job than his by February, and you informed Sara that you are purchasing that gold Mercedes in March, but now find yourself committing to overspending your time, energy and money – obviously you need to take back the things you said and get real with yourself.
New year resolutions have become those ‘fun things we do’; however, oftentimes we base them on past year experiences: disappointments, failures or even bets with friends and family.
Now you are over-committed. So, how do you go about reassessing the situation, and then getting down to realistic obligations?
- Rewind to the day before you made those outrages promises. Exactly where were you in your life? Were you rich, poor, frustrated, longing to be validated by someone – or something?
- Re-examine your values.
- Be serious about what you really want to achieve. Life can only be lived once and you do not want to live it in regret.
- Resort to simple resolutions that will not require overwhelming life changes.
- Remember: If you have not prepared for it during the past year – it probably needs more thought and time.
- Less commitment is equal to less stress. So, take it one commitment at a time and do away with unnecessary commitments. You really do not need to commit to everything at the top of the year.
- Most importantly: Do not attempt to juggle your commitments. Create balance. Allow your achievements to complement each other. The easiest way is to wait until a commitment is completed before moving on to the next one.
5. Did you overspend during the past year and now find yourself out of pocket? What changes can you implement in order to see a more successful fiscal year ahead?
Save.
Save your money and save yourself from the trouble of living out of pocket, or worse – ending up broke. Shopping, dining out and entertaining friends and family are great and wonderful experiences, but just as important is a well-balanced life.
How can you balance la dolce vita and the check book to complement each other?
Firstly, restrain yourself. There is nothing wrong with the sweet life when you can afford it. But when it is beyond your financial reach, you need self-restraint. A lot of will power never hurt anyone.
Make a note of the things that you need versus the things that you want. If you are honest about your lists, you will find that the things you need by far outweigh the things that you want. Hey, we all aspire to own a castle on a hilltop and a nice pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes, but some things are best left as wishes.
Your needs / wants lists must include everything in your life and in your head. Taking a holistic approach to dealing with this issue is the best way to go about it. Thoughts can turn into actions, so do not omit anything.
You need bath soap, toothpaste and salt? Write it down. You want a trip to that expensive mall – AGAIN – write it down. Butter, flour, clothing – write it down. You think you need Kobe beef steak, imported mushrooms – write it all down. When your list is completed, perform a test to see whether you have correctly set the needs in the needs section and the wants in the wants section. Think very carefully about your wants.
Another question is: Can you survive without some of your needs? You know for sure that you can live without Kobe beef.
Exactly how extravagant are your wants and needs?
Instead of using the priciest soap on the supermarket shelf, you could opt for a good low cost brand. After all it is just soap. The soap police will not be out in the street performing litmus tests.
Additionally, not every meal you cook deserves mushrooms – imported or otherwise, so give that some thought. If butter is featured in your list of needs, go ahead and ask yourself why this is a need. The answer might lie in the price and how many times you use the butter: If you have to buy new expensive butter every week, the time has come to look at alternatives.
Clothing: Usually, almost any professional person has enough clothing to last a lifetime – or at least a substantial number of years. Unless you have young children, over time you will find that it is possible to leave clothing off the list completely.
By now your objective should be a more simple life. Simplifying your life and having fewer needs and wants is a first step on the path to financial happiness. Thank you for reading! TMLM
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