QUIET TIME WITH GOD: Benefits of Stepping Back

Last updated on January 3rd, 2026 at 01:06 am

An intriguing story about the core of serenity, mindfulness, and harmony with the universe.

Discovering the benefits of letting go and the importance of ‘alone time’. In this article, we explore the advantages of taking a step back and allowing oneself to unwind in moments of solitude.

My journey to quiet reflection began one Sunday morning when I woke up feeling emotionally overloaded and craving some alone time.

Having a husband and children meant that any alone time would not occur in the conventional sense. Packing a tent and walking into the wilderness for two weeks to listen to gushing streams, birdsong and other calm-inducing stuff wasn’t going to happen. So, my alone time entailed minimizing the use of social media tools, and keeping the television off as much as possible. It also required the strength to avoid altogether any negative messages and phone calls that did not add any good value to my life. Basically, I had to consult my own grey areas and those murky places which did not belong in my life in order for me to get on track with being alone and loving it.

As a person who is straight up about everything; life can seem testing when things turn grey. And I am no stranger to life’s uncertainties and disappointments. The only kind of event I am not familiar with is when trusted family members demonstrate their truth of never having been in my corner. And there is the disappointment of stumbling upon the reality that what I assumed to be friendship was nothing but a ruse to garner information from me.

Add to the deception a barrage of abusive messages aimed at promoting hidden agendas. Not much can get greyer and more disappointing than that. The question is: When such events occur, do you hit back in bitterness and anger, or do you keep silent and wait for the subterfuge and mistreatment to pass? The only answer which is clear for me is that all circumstances differ. And the only constant is that I guard carefully my reactions to anything, and never ever respond in anger.

QUIET TIME WITH GOD: Benefits of Stepping Back — ^{©Photo by Flora Westbrook}

Everything is about letting go…

When we walk towards, or into, something, we also walk away from something else, whether we realize this or not. We are constantly catching and releasing experiences, emotions, and friendships with hardly a second thought. However; deep, unwavering or profound attachment vividly highlights the aches, pains and sorrows of the paths we take deliberately, or those paths that we inadvertently find ourselves having to choose.

The philosophy of letting go brings to mind the story of an old acquaintance who had great trouble with attachment. Let’s call her ‘Mabel’.

Mabel’s over-affectionate demeanor was often a source of sadness and depression for her. Initially she had no indication that she was sinking deep into misery. And then one day her forty something year old son announced his intentions to marry his super gorgeous girlfriend of only four months. As shocking as his sudden desire for betrothal was to his mother, the son felt that he was comfortable enough to go ahead with his decision, regardless of his mother’s pleas for him to “take it slow”.

The reason for Mabel’s reluctance to see her son wed is because she was – inexplicably – devoted to him. Almost every mother is attached to her son/s, but this was the kind of stuff that Hollywood scripts are made of. The two shared a home where the mother had all the say about the running of household activities. She was like mother and wife rolled into one (without any inappropriate physical contact). But things swiftly changed soon after the son’s new fiancé stepped through the door.

Mabel called to ask what I thought she could do about the unwelcome living arrangement. My advice was that it would be a lot easier for her to calmly accept the situation, find her own home, and move on. Her son was happy with his state of affairs, which meant that there was not much she could do about the new changes in her life.

The son did marry, and Mabel reluctantly attended his wedding. Many months passed by with Mabel fighting her new daughter-in-law for her son’s affections, until the son and his wife sought assistance from legal authorities. This was followed by applications for peace orders, and threats of court action. Neither side was backing down. Mabel wanted a close relationship with her son, while her son and his wife rallied furiously for an autonomous marriage. She sent occasional requests for my guidance.

As empathetic as I was to her uncomfortable experience, I stuck to the belief that Mabel should let her son go in order to be able to establish a normal respectful mother / mother-in-law relationship with her son and daughter-in-law. This fell on deaf ears until one year later Mabel wrote to say that she had decided to drop all attempts at a hostile takeover of her son’s affections and let him do “whatever makes him happy”. She had prayed about it, and had “spent quiet time with God” – and now felt at peace about her son’s decision. At last she had accepted that everything is about letting go.

The three parties made peace, and Mabel finally realized the positive benefits of letting go. Sadly, her son passed away exactly one month to the day when she gave her blessing for his freedom. She wrote me again. This time her letter was somber and yet it radiated gratitude for the opportunity to make peace with her son and his wife. She stated that if she hadn’t released her son to enjoy his marriage in his own way, she would have lost all of him forever. At least she was able to say good-bye, and subsequently enjoy the wonderful opportunity to say hello to his child which himself and his wife were expecting by the time of his death.

As sad as this story may be, it has a comforting outcome for those who are left behind. They were able to ease each other’s pain through the saddest occasions that any parent or wife could experience. This story is also about humility, forgiveness, and the ability to rise above the pain in order to make way for a beautiful present moment and brighter future. I was fortunate to be a small part of this story, because from it I gained insight into the failings of deep attachment, and the rewards that come out of releasing others into their own lives.

Whether bottomless attachment is due to excessive kindness, the fear of losing a relationship, or it is brought on by one’s over-protective nature, there is only one way to get to the other side of it.

These days, as a mother-in-law, Mabel blesses her son’s widow with the gift of acceptance, while she is a wonderfully doting grandmother to her grandchild since his arrival eight months after his father’s passing. She writes often about the various occasions when she lets go of all that she is and surrenders to spending quiet time with God. Her letters are always brimming full of light, love, and zest for life. I am certain that all of her joy is derived from her ability to become introspective. And I know for a fact that the turnaround to humility and positive inner strength are the elements which drive her spirit every day.

Release it, and start the journey on the road to inner peace:

Life experience has taught me that attachment is not always a beneficial emotion. We become attached to material things, friends and family members without considering possible consequences such as hurt, disappointment, and loss of dignity that could arise as a result of uncontrolled affection.

Like myself, many people end up disappointed by those they have loved and trusted. In my experience, the causes of my disillusionment were many; yet all I could find was one solution to the problem: Spending quiet time by shutting out all the noise and volatility, and looking inward to discover what it is within me that rendered me to so much harmful attachment.

So, on that Sunday morning which I mentioned earlier, I uploaded a social media status informing my contacts that I was offline for a while. I then proceeded to block any unwanted email contacts (Taking alone time would not be successful if the reason for my distress was still allowed in). At times we are reluctant to do away with contacts because of the fear of ‘losing’ them forever. I say that is just fine. It is impossible to lose anyone who is loyal to you. The loyal ones will understand that caring for your emotional wellbeing is essential to your life. There is no need for any justification.

If you are not the antagonist, or ‘fire starter’, feel free to do what you need to do in order to obtain an undisturbed transition to a brand new unperturbed you.

In cases where you are the adversary; then it is worth the admission of guilt you make to the ‘injured’ party before you head up the hill to meditate. (When left unresolved, sooner or later our indelicate actions have a way of creeping up on us). And you will not want to deal with the same old arguments and broiling emotions upon your return. Better yet, you really do not want thoughts of future quarrels whirling in your head while you are working on a calmer relaxed you.

Stepping Back – Returning To A Joyful Space:

For two whole weeks my social media status was offline and I did not engage in any unnecessary conversations. My mornings were spent in the garden listening to bird song, and being one with the plants. Indoors, I played my favorite music and journaled positive thoughts. Happiness was back, and it felt great.

During this time, I also realized that it was me who had invited the unpleasantness which I received, by befriending a person whom I knew to be inconsiderate towards the feelings of others.

For many years it had been my assumption that kindness towards her was the way to changing her attitude from egotistical to caring for the feelings of others. Once we were ‘friends’, I had bestowed upon her the sentiment I value the most: trust. Unfortunately this did not go well, and healing from it took a fair amount of time.

There is no regret for the time spent on healing and rewiring my mind, because every experience carries a lesson. The only disadvantage occurs when the lesson is not learned and nothing positive taken away from it.

Now that the unfortunate experiences are past and I am returned to my joyful space, I am wiser for it. In the future, before I bestow any emotion outside of respect to anyone, I shall spend some quiet time reflecting upon my role in that person’s life, vice versa.

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